WEBVTT

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( music playing )

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( click )

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MRS. WICKET : Gah!

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( door slams )

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( thunder rumbling )

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( scoffs )

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( bored ) Ohh.

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Pbbbbt.

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( door creaking )

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( gasps )

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( both screaming )

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( monster growling )

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( screaming )

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Oof.

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This isn't scary at all.

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Pbbbbt.

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( scoffs )
That film was rubbish.

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Oh!

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What the--

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Hmm?

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Oh.

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I wonder...

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( flashes popping )

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- ( crowd cheering )
- Thank you. Thank you.

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I'd like to thank Teddy
very much indeed.

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Thank you very much.
Thank you.

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I could do that.

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Ah.

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( gate squeaks )

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Oh.

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( squeaking )

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Mmm. Very good.

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( snickers )

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Hmm.

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Oh!

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Ahh.

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( imitating thunder )

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( chuckles )

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( sighs )

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Ooh!

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Ow! What you up to?

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Ohh. Hmm...

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Yes.

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MRS. WICKET: Ooh!

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Very good.

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MRS. WICKET: Ohh!

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Aha!

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There it is.

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Now, then.

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Oh.

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Action!

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Mmm, no.

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Ah.

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Mmm.

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Ah.

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( grunting )

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Ah!

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Hmm.

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( amplified )
Action!

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( giggling )

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( clacking )

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Hmm...

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Ah! Yes.

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Bless me.

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Pfft!

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( typewriter clacking )

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( typewriter clacking )

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Ha!

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Mwah.

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Brilliant!

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Right.

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( tires screech )

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( cash register rings )

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( sighs )

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( tires screech )

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Hmm.

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( snickering )

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( growling )

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( snickering )

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( doorbell chimes )

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( growling )

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Oh, hello.

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( garbled speech )

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IRMA: Huh?

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We're going to make
a movie.

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- Eh?
- You and me.

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A movie?!

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- Yes! Come on!
- Ohh!

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Right. Here's my pitch,

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or "the story."

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IRMA: Ooh.

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Me, you. Yes?

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Oh, but wait.

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I just put that
in there. ( laughs )

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Tsk! No!

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Girly stuff.

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Ahh! Haunted house.

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Ooh.

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( imitating thunder )

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IRMA: Ooh!

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( ghostly moaning )

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( giggling )

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MR. BEAN:
( chuckling )

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- ( imitating door creaking )
- Ooh!

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- And we see...
- Yes?

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The monster!

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Oh! What?

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You mean Teddy?

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- No!
- Oh?

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No, no, no, no.

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Mrs. Wicket.

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Oooh!

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Ohh!

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IRMA: ( laughing )
Ohh, yes.

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Yes?

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IRMA: Go on.

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We're making a film.

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Oh?

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- And we want you...
- Mmm?

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to be the star.

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- Me?
- Yeah. Yeah.

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Ohh.

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PHOTOGRAPHER:
Mrs. Wicket! Over here!

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MRS. WICKET: ( laughing )
It's just...

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It's lovely.

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I'll do it.

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( snickering
and clapping )

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Right!

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( amplified )
Let's make movies!

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MRS. WICKET: Oh!

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( chuckles )

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Ooh.

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IRMA: There.
Just a bit there now.

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MRS. WICKET: Ohh! Ohh!

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( chuckling )

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Ah.

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( chuckles )

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Oooh! Oooh!

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( gasps )

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Ah.

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( grunts )

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Now...

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( as ghost )
Oooh!

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Oooh!

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There.

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IRMA: Now.

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Goes there.

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MRS. WICKET: ( laughing )
Oh, God.

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Let me see.

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IRMA: Ooh! No, no.

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MRS. WICKET: Ohh!

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IRMA:
Let's just pop the dryer.

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- And there you go.
- ( dryer whirring )

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Hmm.

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( clanking )

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Excellent. Now...

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You'll go on there.

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Sorry.

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( owl hooting )

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Mmm.

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( snickering )

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Good. Good.

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( amplified )
Action!

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IRMA: Tsk! ( huffs )

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( engine starts )

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IRMA: Oh. Mmm.

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Look!

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Oh!

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( eerie music playing )

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Cut!

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All right.

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( dryer whirring )

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( sniffing )

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Ooh, it's hot.

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Okay, so,
you've seen the monster...

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- Oh, yes.
- And you go, "Aaah!"

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- Okay?
- Okay.

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MR. BEAN:
Okay. Action.

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( quietly )
Aaah.

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No, no, no, no, no.

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Aaah!

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- Oh.
- Now...

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Action.

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( laughing )

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Ohh!

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Ah.

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IRMA: ( laughing )
I can't!

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It feels silly.
( laughing )

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Ready. Action!

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Aaah!

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That hurt!

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- That's better.
- Ooh!

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( sniffing )

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Oh! Mrs. Wicket.

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( dryer whirring )

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( Irma gasps )

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Ohh!

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MRS. WICKET: What?

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MR. BEAN:
That's great.

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( snickering )

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( people chatting )

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There.

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Ah! Excellent.

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Ohh! ( chuckling )

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Very popular.

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MAN: This better be good.
( chuckles )

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MR. BEAN: Right.

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Here we go.

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( Mrs. Wicket laughing )

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( snickering )

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Ah. Ooh!

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- ( Mr. Bean imitating thunder )
- ( melodramatic piano music )

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Ohh!

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Look!

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Oh, yeah.
This is gonna be rubbish.

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( doorbell rings )

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( door creaking )

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MR. BEAN: What happened
to the lights?

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Aah!

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Oh! ( chuckling )

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- Oi! Shh!

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Sorry.

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MR. BEAN: Follow me.

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( whimpering )

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( door creaking )

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( hissing )

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( audience gasps )

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MR. BEAN:
Let's get out of here.

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( hissing )

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Quick! In here!

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I'll just find
the light switch.

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( gasps )

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What's that?

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MR. BEAN: Ohh!

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( Mr. Bean imitating
thunder )

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( both scream )

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What?!

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- ( growling )
- ( audience screaming )

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Oh. Very good, dear.

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Very good.

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Yes. Great.

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Thank you.
( chuckles )

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Mwah!

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And now for the best bit.

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( snickers )

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MR. BEAN:
Come on, quick.

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Get in the car.

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( harried piano music
playing )

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IRMA: Ohh!

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( both screaming )

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( audience cheering
wildly )

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Thank you. Thank you.

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I thank my mother, too.

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Thank you.
Oh, you're too kind.

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And my co-stars.

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( audience cheering )

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IRMA: Thank you.

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And who's the monster
at the end?

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- Teddy!
- Oh!

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( cheering )

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Oh. What a triumph.

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( music playing )

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Oh. ( groans )

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( sighs )

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Whoa!

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( flashlight bulb shatters )