1 00:00:06,777 --> 00:00:10,156 Come on, gotta hustle. We got seven minutes till boarding. 2 00:00:10,239 --> 00:00:12,283 Okay, honey. Slow down. Hey, hey, hi. 3 00:00:12,366 --> 00:00:14,160 - Okay. - Let's take a breath. 4 00:00:14,243 --> 00:00:16,412 Okay. 5 00:00:16,495 --> 00:00:17,997 - I'm sorry. I'm just... - Yeah. 6 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:22,293 I'm really excited about this trip. I mean, we've never been to Barbados. 7 00:00:22,376 --> 00:00:25,254 I know, but we can calm down, okay? 8 00:00:25,337 --> 00:00:26,839 - Okay. - There's like nobody here. 9 00:00:26,922 --> 00:00:28,090 I think we're gonna be fine. 10 00:00:28,758 --> 00:00:30,926 Yeah, you're right. Sorry. 11 00:00:33,012 --> 00:00:34,472 We'll be all right. 12 00:00:34,555 --> 00:00:36,057 Attention, passengers... 13 00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:37,767 - Next. - Hi. 14 00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:39,769 Hello. ID, please. 15 00:00:43,105 --> 00:00:45,524 - Thank you. Have a safe trip. - Thank you. 16 00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:47,568 Hi, there. 17 00:00:49,111 --> 00:00:50,196 One second, sir. 18 00:00:50,905 --> 00:00:52,239 - Sorry. - Hey, Patricia! 19 00:00:53,741 --> 00:00:55,618 What's up, twin? You ready to switch? 20 00:00:55,701 --> 00:00:57,161 Yes, ma'am. 21 00:00:57,244 --> 00:00:58,662 All right. 22 00:00:58,746 --> 00:01:01,749 - Get your white ass over here. - I'm coming. Damn. 23 00:01:03,042 --> 00:01:04,835 - Hey, boo. - You are glowing! 24 00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:08,589 - I'll tell you why when I come back. - Oh shit. 25 00:01:08,672 --> 00:01:10,424 Kev gave you a workout, huh? 26 00:01:10,508 --> 00:01:11,967 A workout! 27 00:01:13,135 --> 00:01:16,514 - Ooh! Shit. - Here you go. 28 00:01:17,139 --> 00:01:19,433 Sir, I still got 30 more seconds of break. 29 00:01:19,934 --> 00:01:22,645 Excuse me, ma'am, it's just I'm running a little late, 30 00:01:22,728 --> 00:01:24,647 and I've got to get to my gate. Pardon me. 31 00:01:24,730 --> 00:01:27,566 You're acting like I’m the one that set your alarm. I didn't do that shit. 32 00:01:27,650 --> 00:01:30,945 Gosh, I wish you had been there to help wake me up this morning. 33 00:01:31,028 --> 00:01:32,029 Ugh. 34 00:01:32,613 --> 00:01:34,657 No, thank you. Wake you up? 35 00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:38,119 - Tickle your nuts? I don't think so. - Oh, no, I-I didn't mean it like that. 36 00:01:38,202 --> 00:01:39,370 Okay, next. 37 00:01:40,371 --> 00:01:43,958 Uh, excuse me. Do you hand things to your lady like that? 38 00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:46,377 Hand that shit to me softer. 39 00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:47,711 Softer? 40 00:01:47,795 --> 00:01:48,754 Yeah, softer. 41 00:01:57,221 --> 00:01:58,055 Thank you. 42 00:01:58,848 --> 00:01:59,974 Look in the camera. 43 00:02:01,433 --> 00:02:03,394 Can you take your goofy-ass hat off, please? 44 00:02:03,477 --> 00:02:04,728 Sure. Sorry. 45 00:02:04,812 --> 00:02:07,273 Dang, you got a big-ass head. 46 00:02:08,023 --> 00:02:12,069 Yeah, you know, they-- they say that's actually a sign of intelligence. 47 00:02:12,153 --> 00:02:15,114 They say that Einstein had a big ol' melon. 48 00:02:15,197 --> 00:02:18,117 Ooh, that's the dude with the freaky-ass island, huh? 49 00:02:18,701 --> 00:02:21,328 No, you're thinking of Jeffrey Epstein. 50 00:02:21,412 --> 00:02:22,329 Shit. 51 00:02:22,413 --> 00:02:24,790 Hey, big-head Epstein coming through! 52 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,668 - Thank you. - Next. 53 00:02:27,751 --> 00:02:30,462 A reminder, shoes stay on. 54 00:02:30,546 --> 00:02:31,922 Belts come off. 55 00:02:32,006 --> 00:02:35,009 Large electronics into a separate bin. 56 00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:37,595 Why are your shoes on? 57 00:02:38,304 --> 00:02:42,808 I thought the guy just said that you don't have to take your shoes off. 58 00:02:42,892 --> 00:02:45,853 - What guy? - I think it was this gentleman right here. 59 00:02:45,936 --> 00:02:47,938 I thought that's what he said. 60 00:02:48,022 --> 00:02:49,648 Did you just call me a nigga? 61 00:02:49,732 --> 00:02:52,818 No, I just... I just thought that you'd said-- 62 00:02:52,902 --> 00:02:55,946 - I ain't say nothing. - So, excuse me, shoes off? 63 00:02:56,030 --> 00:02:58,824 - No, excuse you. - Listen up! Shoes off! 64 00:02:58,908 --> 00:03:00,576 - Shoes on. - Belts on. 65 00:03:00,659 --> 00:03:02,995 - Belts off. Jackets on. - Okay, I apologize. 66 00:03:03,078 --> 00:03:04,747 - Get my shoes off. - Think he OBJ. 67 00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:05,915 Step in. 68 00:03:07,291 --> 00:03:08,584 Hands over your head. 69 00:03:09,335 --> 00:03:10,711 Hold them there. 70 00:03:10,794 --> 00:03:11,921 Step out. 71 00:03:14,089 --> 00:03:16,926 It's telling me I'm gonna have to do a secondary screening. 72 00:03:17,009 --> 00:03:19,595 Do we have your consent for a secondary screening? 73 00:03:19,678 --> 00:03:22,598 Okay, just-- just go ahead. I'll meet you at the gate. 74 00:03:22,681 --> 00:03:23,766 Okay. 75 00:03:23,849 --> 00:03:25,976 This will just take a couple minutes, sir. 76 00:03:26,685 --> 00:03:29,313 - Oh, you bringing someone home with that. - You know that's right. 77 00:03:29,396 --> 00:03:31,273 Patricia for a secondary screening. 78 00:03:31,357 --> 00:03:32,524 Copy. I gotta go. 79 00:03:32,608 --> 00:03:33,651 Bye, bitch. 80 00:03:35,152 --> 00:03:36,445 Did you say Patricia? 81 00:03:36,528 --> 00:03:37,613 Tracy! 82 00:03:38,113 --> 00:03:40,157 - What's up, girl? - I drank your Pepsi Max. 83 00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:41,659 - That's all right. - Oh shit. 84 00:03:41,742 --> 00:03:43,452 - You still here? - How you doing? 85 00:03:43,535 --> 00:03:45,913 - That's wild as hell. - I know, yeah. 86 00:03:46,413 --> 00:03:47,623 Okay, spread 'em. 87 00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:51,377 Okay. 88 00:03:52,127 --> 00:03:53,420 What is this shit? 89 00:03:54,088 --> 00:03:56,632 Ooh! Your gooch thick. 90 00:03:56,715 --> 00:04:00,302 That could be a problem. You need to see the dick and balls doctor. 91 00:04:00,386 --> 00:04:02,096 Prostate guy, yeah. Thank you. 92 00:04:05,432 --> 00:04:06,976 What you got in here? 93 00:04:07,059 --> 00:04:09,478 Ma'am, how much longer do you think this is gonna take? 94 00:04:09,561 --> 00:04:10,980 I've really got to make this flight. 95 00:04:11,063 --> 00:04:13,357 You think you could not grow when my hands are here? 96 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,900 I don't think I'm growing. 97 00:04:14,984 --> 00:04:16,277 I saw your lady earlier. 98 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,196 I don't think she would like to know the way you lookin' at another woman. 99 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:21,240 - How am I looking at you? - Like that. 100 00:04:21,323 --> 00:04:22,866 Like you're trying to get with me. 101 00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:25,911 You know, people say I look like Rihanna. 102 00:04:27,663 --> 00:04:29,039 Yeah, yeah. 103 00:04:29,123 --> 00:04:31,333 She's a beauty. 104 00:04:31,417 --> 00:04:33,043 - Fuck! - What? 105 00:04:33,127 --> 00:04:34,461 Shit. 106 00:04:34,545 --> 00:04:36,672 Your dumb-ass leg broke my nail. 107 00:04:36,755 --> 00:04:37,965 Yeah. 108 00:04:39,049 --> 00:04:40,259 May I get going now? 109 00:04:40,342 --> 00:04:41,927 Yeah, get your ass out of here. 110 00:04:42,594 --> 00:04:44,763 - Good to see you. - Take your ass this way. 111 00:04:44,847 --> 00:04:47,224 - Go get your motherfucking bag. - Fuck. 112 00:04:50,686 --> 00:04:52,229 Come on, come on. 113 00:04:52,313 --> 00:04:53,647 Oh shit! 114 00:04:53,731 --> 00:04:55,524 Teddy, look at this shit. 115 00:04:55,607 --> 00:04:58,694 Look at this man get clipped by a whole-ass semi truck. 116 00:04:58,777 --> 00:05:00,654 Come on. 117 00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:03,490 Patricia, that ain't real. That's AI. 118 00:05:03,574 --> 00:05:04,408 How you know? 119 00:05:04,491 --> 00:05:07,453 Well, the driver of the truck is, uh, Peter Griffin. 120 00:05:07,536 --> 00:05:09,413 He's normally like a cartoon character. 121 00:05:09,496 --> 00:05:11,915 That's a real man. What the hell is AI? 122 00:05:11,999 --> 00:05:13,417 Oh shit. 123 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,045 Patricia, your crazy ass made me miss a bag. 124 00:05:16,128 --> 00:05:17,838 I gotta put that one back through. 125 00:05:17,921 --> 00:05:20,257 That's my bad. I'll take care of it. Don't worry. 126 00:05:20,883 --> 00:05:23,052 Whose raggedy-ass bag is this? 127 00:05:24,303 --> 00:05:27,056 Ugh. This bag stank. 128 00:05:27,139 --> 00:05:29,308 - Just have at it. - All right. 129 00:05:30,184 --> 00:05:31,393 Let's do this. 130 00:05:32,853 --> 00:05:35,522 Let's see what nasty shit you got in here. 131 00:05:36,398 --> 00:05:37,232 Ooh. 132 00:05:40,444 --> 00:05:42,237 This camera got lithium batteries? 133 00:05:42,321 --> 00:05:44,281 You know what? Just keep the camera. 134 00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:46,533 Okay. Teddy! 135 00:05:47,117 --> 00:05:49,703 - You be taking pictures, right? - Sure do. 136 00:05:49,787 --> 00:05:51,955 I know you do, with your freak ass. Here. 137 00:05:53,457 --> 00:05:55,876 Christmas came early, motherfucker. 138 00:05:56,752 --> 00:05:58,462 You know I take care of mine. 139 00:05:58,545 --> 00:06:01,215 - Thank you. - All right, take some of me. 140 00:06:01,298 --> 00:06:03,884 I repeat, this is the final boarding call... 141 00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:05,761 Let me turn around for you a second. 142 00:06:06,345 --> 00:06:08,180 I'm trying to look like Solange. 143 00:06:08,263 --> 00:06:10,933 - You do. You're beautiful. - Thank you. 144 00:06:12,893 --> 00:06:15,687 - You look good. - I know what you like, Teddy. 145 00:06:15,771 --> 00:06:17,398 Will you cut the shit? 146 00:06:20,192 --> 00:06:21,902 Excuse you? 147 00:06:23,529 --> 00:06:26,073 What is your problem with me, lady? 148 00:06:26,156 --> 00:06:27,991 You have singled me out 149 00:06:28,075 --> 00:06:31,912 and made this a beyond hellish experience. 150 00:06:31,995 --> 00:06:33,747 And you're making me feel... 151 00:06:35,624 --> 00:06:37,459 I feel like I'm gonna explode. 152 00:06:39,795 --> 00:06:41,380 He got a bomb! 153 00:06:44,508 --> 00:06:47,719 A terrorist attack has been averted at the Atlanta airport. 154 00:06:47,803 --> 00:06:49,304 The suspect, Mark Wicker, 155 00:06:49,388 --> 00:06:52,099 was stopped by TSA agents and found to be carrying 156 00:06:52,182 --> 00:06:55,519 multiple explosive devices in his carry-on and rectum. 157 00:06:55,602 --> 00:06:59,523 He may have succeeded had it not been for veteran TSA agent Patricia Finch, 158 00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:03,068 who is being recognized for her valor and bravery. 159 00:07:03,152 --> 00:07:05,654 First of all, I just wanna give a shout-out to Jesus. 160 00:07:05,737 --> 00:07:07,614 I do everything for Jesus. 161 00:07:07,698 --> 00:07:08,866 I don't mess with saints 162 00:07:08,949 --> 00:07:10,159 and none of that bull****. 163 00:07:10,242 --> 00:07:12,703 Growing up as a little white girl in Atlanta, 164 00:07:12,786 --> 00:07:15,289 I was always good at knowing, 165 00:07:15,372 --> 00:07:18,333 like, who is kind of a piece of ****. 166 00:07:18,417 --> 00:07:21,044 If your eyebrows is too thick, gone. 167 00:07:21,128 --> 00:07:24,173 If your eyes ain't open, see you later. 168 00:07:24,256 --> 00:07:26,133 If you smell funky, 169 00:07:26,216 --> 00:07:28,510 get your *** to the Greyhound bus station. 170 00:07:28,594 --> 00:07:30,345 You ain't meant for the airport, mother******. 171 00:07:30,429 --> 00:07:31,638 Take my picture, y'all. 172 00:07:31,722 --> 00:07:33,474 Hey. 173 00:07:33,557 --> 00:07:34,892 Over your shoulder! 174 00:07:34,975 --> 00:07:36,935 - Am I getting any money for this? - No. 175 00:07:37,019 --> 00:07:38,770 All right, I'm done with this ****. 176 00:07:38,854 --> 00:07:40,731 All right. Bye, y'all. 177 00:07:52,826 --> 00:07:54,203 - Hey. - Hey. 178 00:07:54,286 --> 00:07:55,662 That's my guy. 179 00:07:55,746 --> 00:07:57,039 I'm not late, am I? 180 00:07:57,122 --> 00:07:58,415 Not at all. 181 00:07:58,499 --> 00:08:01,877 Let me get a look at you. Oh yeah. You look great, man. 182 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,879 Your body's so fit right now. 183 00:08:03,962 --> 00:08:05,005 Loving this jacket. 184 00:08:05,088 --> 00:08:07,633 You look slim, confident, ready for action. 185 00:08:07,716 --> 00:08:09,301 - Thanks, man. - Yeah. 186 00:08:09,384 --> 00:08:12,221 So this is really happening, huh? 187 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,350 Oh yeah. 188 00:08:17,643 --> 00:08:21,021 Good, good. 'Cause I gotta tell you, 189 00:08:21,104 --> 00:08:22,356 I'm over Bad Thoughts. 190 00:08:22,439 --> 00:08:23,273 Mm. 191 00:08:23,357 --> 00:08:25,275 I appreciate the opportunity. You know that. 192 00:08:25,359 --> 00:08:29,029 I'm just done with this wacky prosthetic wig stuff. 193 00:08:29,112 --> 00:08:29,947 Ugh, yeah. 194 00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:34,451 I-- I want people to know I take acting seriously, you know? 195 00:08:34,535 --> 00:08:35,786 I want to do, like... 196 00:08:35,869 --> 00:08:36,828 Trucks. 197 00:08:37,913 --> 00:08:40,123 - What? - Big ones. 198 00:08:40,207 --> 00:08:41,500 Eighteen-wheelers. 199 00:08:42,793 --> 00:08:44,628 Why are you always talking about trucks? 200 00:08:45,963 --> 00:08:48,298 Oh, I don't know why I said that. Keep going. 201 00:08:48,382 --> 00:08:50,926 Okay. I want to make feature films, is my point. 202 00:08:51,009 --> 00:08:53,971 Right... well, that's why we're here, buddy. 203 00:08:54,054 --> 00:08:57,683 You are about to get a major offer from the guy that they call 204 00:08:57,766 --> 00:08:59,601 the Asian Chris Nolan. 205 00:08:59,685 --> 00:09:04,064 Which means this thing is going to be extremely heady and thought-provoking. 206 00:09:04,147 --> 00:09:07,109 You should be jizzing in your drawers right now. 207 00:09:07,192 --> 00:09:10,195 I want to see you blow your load. 208 00:09:10,279 --> 00:09:11,154 Okay. 209 00:09:11,238 --> 00:09:14,324 I want you walking in there with a wet front, 210 00:09:14,408 --> 00:09:17,703 stinking to high heaven like some 13-year-old freak. 211 00:09:17,786 --> 00:09:18,787 Tom? 212 00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:20,038 They're ready. 213 00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:23,292 Mm. 214 00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:25,586 That's smartwater. 215 00:09:25,669 --> 00:09:27,462 These guys know what they're doing. 216 00:09:28,171 --> 00:09:30,007 Hey. 217 00:09:31,341 --> 00:09:32,926 You look really cool. 218 00:09:33,594 --> 00:09:34,428 Thanks, man. 219 00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:37,681 Tom fucking Segura! 220 00:09:37,764 --> 00:09:40,934 Oh my God! Lookin' slim, my guy. 221 00:09:41,018 --> 00:09:43,145 I would fuck you right here if I wasn't a lesbian. 222 00:09:43,228 --> 00:09:44,980 Don't let the nails fool you. I'm a lesbian. 223 00:09:45,939 --> 00:09:47,357 Nice. I love lesbians. 224 00:09:47,441 --> 00:09:49,318 I watch a lot of lesbian stuff. 225 00:09:49,401 --> 00:09:51,403 Uh, Tom, I want you to meet someone 226 00:09:51,486 --> 00:09:54,906 who is very special to us here at Chikara Kikku. 227 00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:58,327 This is Mr. Yoshi Mashimoto, 228 00:09:58,410 --> 00:10:01,163 one of the few geniuses left in the world. 229 00:10:01,246 --> 00:10:03,248 I'm sure you're familiar with his work. 230 00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:04,750 Uh... 231 00:10:05,542 --> 00:10:07,210 Mr. Mashimoto is the author 232 00:10:07,294 --> 00:10:11,048 of the highest-selling graphic novel of all time. 233 00:10:11,131 --> 00:10:12,466 - Amazing. - Yeah. 234 00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:13,800 Hello. 235 00:10:17,387 --> 00:10:19,473 Mr. Mashimoto is honored that you are here. 236 00:10:20,307 --> 00:10:22,476 Thank you. 237 00:10:26,021 --> 00:10:29,691 He also says that you are very funny and bald. 238 00:10:30,192 --> 00:10:32,402 - Yes. - And he loves your blue eyes. 239 00:10:32,903 --> 00:10:35,697 I've always said that they pop on camera. 240 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,117 Thank you. That's very nice. 241 00:10:41,703 --> 00:10:42,954 Great. 242 00:10:43,038 --> 00:10:44,956 All right. Let's take a seat. 243 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:45,916 Okay. 244 00:10:45,999 --> 00:10:49,628 So, Tom, I bet you're wondering why the hell you're here. 245 00:10:49,711 --> 00:10:52,714 Yeah. We were just saying this is all very under wraps. 246 00:10:52,798 --> 00:10:55,050 Under wraps and exciting as fuck. 247 00:10:55,133 --> 00:10:58,845 Okay, well, we feel exactly the same way. 248 00:10:58,929 --> 00:11:01,723 So, Mr. Mashimoto's masterpiece 249 00:11:01,807 --> 00:11:03,433 is entitled Konyo Yaro. 250 00:11:03,517 --> 00:11:06,019 - Konyo Yaro. - That's right. Konyo Yaro. 251 00:11:06,103 --> 00:11:07,729 Rolls right off the tongue. 252 00:11:07,813 --> 00:11:11,191 And we are now finally, after many years, 253 00:11:11,274 --> 00:11:14,945 going to turn his brilliant graphic novel 254 00:11:15,028 --> 00:11:18,990 into a high-budget, live-action feature film. 255 00:11:19,074 --> 00:11:21,201 That's awesome. I love feature films. 256 00:11:21,284 --> 00:11:25,455 I can vouch for that. Tom does indeed love feature films. 257 00:11:25,539 --> 00:11:26,581 Okay. Relax. 258 00:11:26,665 --> 00:11:29,334 So, Tom, the reason why you're here 259 00:11:29,418 --> 00:11:33,630 is that Mr. Mashimoto has requested 260 00:11:33,714 --> 00:11:36,425 you play the main character. 261 00:11:37,718 --> 00:11:41,638 - Really? - I know. Our reaction here was the same. 262 00:11:41,722 --> 00:11:45,559 Like, there are so many other people who could do it 263 00:11:45,642 --> 00:11:48,603 who are movie stars, you know? 264 00:11:48,687 --> 00:11:51,773 But no, he made it very clear 265 00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:53,525 he only wants you. 266 00:11:54,443 --> 00:11:56,403 I think I'm gonna come. 267 00:11:57,404 --> 00:12:00,407 This is your guy. Where do we sign? 268 00:12:01,366 --> 00:12:04,536 I mean, uh, we are very open to this. 269 00:12:04,619 --> 00:12:08,290 Yes, um, it's very flattering. Thank you for that. 270 00:12:08,373 --> 00:12:12,627 Um, and it sounds great, but can I get a little bit more detail about it? 271 00:12:12,711 --> 00:12:14,755 Of course. Yeah, of course. 272 00:12:14,838 --> 00:12:18,049 Let's go through the whole thing. Okay. 273 00:12:19,009 --> 00:12:20,177 Behold. 274 00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:21,636 New Tokyoville. 275 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:27,267 Humanity's last safe zone in a post-chemical wasteland. 276 00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:30,979 Yet danger coils around every border 277 00:12:31,062 --> 00:12:35,650 as rogue cyborgs are closing in on every side. 278 00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:39,196 But from the shadows emerges... 279 00:12:39,863 --> 00:12:41,573 Bushido! 280 00:12:42,365 --> 00:12:46,453 Yes, a rogue warrior forged in exile 281 00:12:46,536 --> 00:12:47,954 and driven by fate, 282 00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:50,874 destined to rid the world of evil 283 00:12:51,458 --> 00:12:56,379 and deliver humanity from the edge of oblivion. 284 00:12:56,463 --> 00:12:57,631 That's you. 285 00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:00,091 Huh. 286 00:13:01,009 --> 00:13:02,010 Wow. 287 00:13:03,094 --> 00:13:05,138 Squirt. I just came. 288 00:13:05,222 --> 00:13:07,307 I warned you guys. 289 00:13:07,390 --> 00:13:09,059 So he's just a total badass? 290 00:13:09,142 --> 00:13:12,062 Not sure this is even gonna require much acting. 291 00:13:12,145 --> 00:13:14,397 Hey, hey. Jesus. You gotta tone it down a notch. 292 00:13:14,481 --> 00:13:17,818 Well, actually, I mean, the character is a bit of a recluse. 293 00:13:17,901 --> 00:13:20,070 Yes, he lives in the sewer system. 294 00:13:21,029 --> 00:13:23,073 In the sewer system? 295 00:13:23,156 --> 00:13:26,743 Yes. He gets his power from the waste of the city, 296 00:13:26,827 --> 00:13:29,162 but then channels it for good. 297 00:13:29,246 --> 00:13:31,164 - Yeah. - I told you. Heady stuff. 298 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,584 Interesting. And what is the name of the movie again? 299 00:13:34,668 --> 00:13:36,545 - Konyo... - Konyo Yaro. 300 00:13:36,628 --> 00:13:38,171 Konyo Yaro. 301 00:13:38,255 --> 00:13:41,424 Yes, but of course, we will use the English translation. 302 00:13:41,508 --> 00:13:42,342 Right. 303 00:13:42,926 --> 00:13:44,010 Hogtit Shitbeast. 304 00:13:45,929 --> 00:13:47,472 Hogtit Shitbeast. 305 00:13:48,390 --> 00:13:50,267 Wow. Powerful. 306 00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:52,519 Hogtit Shitbeast? 307 00:13:53,395 --> 00:13:55,897 Yeah, well, because he's got the hog tits, 308 00:13:55,981 --> 00:13:57,732 but also he is a shit beast, 309 00:13:57,816 --> 00:13:59,901 so it's a little bit of a play on words there. 310 00:13:59,985 --> 00:14:02,028 - Hm. - Badass. I get it. 311 00:14:02,112 --> 00:14:03,738 It's foreign. It's edgy. 312 00:14:03,822 --> 00:14:05,448 I'm, like, super into this. 313 00:14:06,491 --> 00:14:07,492 This? 314 00:14:07,576 --> 00:14:09,786 So actually he is gonna need you to pack on about 150-- 315 00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:11,454 I mean, at this point, over 200 pounds. 316 00:14:12,998 --> 00:14:14,207 You must become fatter. 317 00:14:15,876 --> 00:14:18,003 It has to be real. No computers. 318 00:14:18,086 --> 00:14:21,756 You see, you first caught Mr. Mashimoto's attention 319 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:26,553 with your 2014 ha-ha comedy show, Completely Normal. 320 00:14:26,636 --> 00:14:28,179 Ha-ha comedy show. 321 00:14:28,263 --> 00:14:29,556 Very funny. 322 00:14:29,639 --> 00:14:31,224 Thank you for watching that. 323 00:14:31,308 --> 00:14:35,645 He took one look at your face and said, "That is my Hogtit Shitbeast." 324 00:14:35,729 --> 00:14:38,899 It's as if you jumped right out of his mind. 325 00:14:38,982 --> 00:14:43,653 In fact, he's been heartbroken about your recent weight loss. 326 00:14:43,737 --> 00:14:47,699 The same way he felt when fat Adele got skinny. 327 00:14:48,325 --> 00:14:52,037 Yeah, uh, it's hard to keep it off, but... 328 00:14:57,042 --> 00:14:58,627 You've done it before. 329 00:14:58,710 --> 00:15:02,714 Just stuff your fat face, you little piggy. 330 00:15:02,797 --> 00:15:04,799 His words, not mine. 331 00:15:06,092 --> 00:15:08,595 And what's coming out of his breasts? 332 00:15:08,678 --> 00:15:10,972 Those are teats. And it's blood. 333 00:15:11,806 --> 00:15:14,184 He replenishes what he loses by killing, 334 00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:16,478 which is why he lives underneath the abortion clinic. 335 00:15:16,561 --> 00:15:20,398 He eats the fetuses one at a time, yeah, 336 00:15:20,482 --> 00:15:24,319 and when he runs out, that's when fecal matter sprays out. 337 00:15:24,402 --> 00:15:25,570 Of his tits. 338 00:15:25,654 --> 00:15:26,947 - Teats. - Right. 339 00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:28,073 His teats, correct. 340 00:15:28,156 --> 00:15:30,033 Of course. Makes complete sense. 341 00:15:30,116 --> 00:15:32,577 I've got the contract ready for you right here. 342 00:15:32,661 --> 00:15:34,913 All the details are outlined. 343 00:15:36,331 --> 00:15:39,042 Um, this is just... 344 00:15:39,542 --> 00:15:42,504 I don't know. I don't really feel like I'm getting it, you know? 345 00:15:42,587 --> 00:15:44,422 Well, maybe this will help. 346 00:15:50,261 --> 00:15:52,305 - Is that a... - Yeah, it's a lunch box. 347 00:15:52,389 --> 00:15:53,765 Now, this is just a prototype, 348 00:15:53,848 --> 00:15:55,725 but imagine milk coming out of one of them, 349 00:15:55,809 --> 00:15:57,268 fruit punch out of another. 350 00:15:57,352 --> 00:16:00,105 Oat milk, if your kid's lactose intolerant. 351 00:16:00,188 --> 00:16:02,983 I'm a bit of a tits guy. Can I squeeze them? 352 00:16:03,066 --> 00:16:04,275 Honey, go for it. 353 00:16:07,278 --> 00:16:09,614 Wow. These feel like real tits. 354 00:16:09,698 --> 00:16:11,533 - Teats. - Teats. 355 00:16:11,616 --> 00:16:13,410 The hair is a nice touch. 356 00:16:13,910 --> 00:16:18,039 Yeah, I guess I'm struggling with it. 357 00:16:18,123 --> 00:16:22,002 Um, it's a lot of new information. You think you could give us a second to... 358 00:16:22,085 --> 00:16:23,962 Okay, you just take one quick second. 359 00:16:24,045 --> 00:16:25,046 Okay. 360 00:16:26,006 --> 00:16:27,298 What the fuck, man? 361 00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:30,301 This is all part of the game. 362 00:16:30,385 --> 00:16:33,346 Look, I know how hard you work to keep off all that weight, 363 00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:35,306 and it's super impressive, but like it or not, 364 00:16:35,390 --> 00:16:38,768 your brand is being a disgusting slob. 365 00:16:38,852 --> 00:16:40,603 That's how people see you. 366 00:16:40,687 --> 00:16:43,690 This project is your Black Panther. 367 00:16:44,524 --> 00:16:45,900 Fat Panther. 368 00:16:48,194 --> 00:16:50,447 Guys, um, 369 00:16:51,114 --> 00:16:53,366 as much as I appreciate 370 00:16:53,450 --> 00:16:55,618 most of what you said, 371 00:16:56,828 --> 00:16:59,873 I just can't see myself playing this part. 372 00:16:59,956 --> 00:17:04,210 And I really hope you can find somebody that suits what you need, sir, 373 00:17:04,294 --> 00:17:06,588 but it's not gonna be me. 374 00:17:06,671 --> 00:17:07,839 No? 375 00:17:07,922 --> 00:17:12,969 Because I can think of about 800,000 reasons 376 00:17:13,053 --> 00:17:14,512 why you should. 377 00:17:15,013 --> 00:17:17,474 Well, it's not about the money for me. 378 00:17:18,058 --> 00:17:21,770 Unfortunately, this doesn't align with who I am, 379 00:17:21,853 --> 00:17:25,899 and I'm gonna have to respectfully say thank you, but I can't do this. 380 00:17:34,032 --> 00:17:35,325 Fourteen million. 381 00:17:39,496 --> 00:17:41,623 We had a little bit of wiggle room. 382 00:17:42,707 --> 00:17:43,792 Holy shit. 383 00:17:44,876 --> 00:17:45,794 Fuck. 384 00:17:47,921 --> 00:17:50,298 Come on! More! 385 00:17:52,383 --> 00:17:54,219 Just make sound! Oink, oink! 386 00:17:56,596 --> 00:17:58,473 You're my comedy pig! 387 00:18:01,351 --> 00:18:03,853 Comedy pig! 388 00:18:23,706 --> 00:18:24,707 Fuck. 389 00:18:43,393 --> 00:18:44,394 Fuck.