WEBVTT 00:06.110 --> 00:07.611 Where do you think you're going? 00:07.695 --> 00:10.031 - To my room! Ugh! - I am not done talking to you! 00:10.114 --> 00:12.283 You never even try to understand me! 00:12.366 --> 00:14.827 I'm sorry I don't have the perfect life like you do. 00:14.910 --> 00:17.371 You think my life is perfect? 00:17.455 --> 00:19.915 That just goes to show what you understand. 00:19.999 --> 00:22.585 - You have it so easy, sweetie. - Easy? 00:22.668 --> 00:25.880 - You couldn't last one day living my life. - Are you kidding? 00:25.963 --> 00:27.673 Your life would be a vacation! 00:38.142 --> 00:39.226 Ugh. 00:40.186 --> 00:43.397 You couldn't last one day living my life. 00:43.481 --> 00:45.775 You never even try to understand me! 00:46.817 --> 00:49.987 You think my life is perfect? That just goes to show... 00:50.071 --> 00:52.323 Your life would be a vacation! 00:55.826 --> 00:58.913 - I'm so old! - How did this happen? 00:58.996 --> 01:02.583 - Oh my God, there's so much skin. - I cannot believe that this is real! 01:02.666 --> 01:04.376 So let me get this straight. 01:04.460 --> 01:07.755 You guys had a fight about how you don't understand each other. 01:07.838 --> 01:10.257 And then you went to sleep, and now... 01:10.341 --> 01:12.676 I'm her, and she's me! 01:12.760 --> 01:15.054 Wait! Ow. 01:15.137 --> 01:16.388 Why does my wrist hurt? 01:16.472 --> 01:19.391 - That's my arthritis! Honey, I'm sorry! - Right? 01:19.475 --> 01:21.018 You can feel her arthritis? 01:21.102 --> 01:23.270 - Yes. - That's remarkable. 01:23.354 --> 01:25.606 Oh my goodness. I mean... 01:26.148 --> 01:30.653 You're allergic to shellfish. Does that mean you can have lobster now? 01:31.278 --> 01:32.738 I don't know. 01:32.822 --> 01:38.077 And will you dream about... her experiences? 01:39.411 --> 01:42.957 And if I, you know... with you, 01:43.040 --> 01:44.917 would that be with her? 01:46.252 --> 01:48.754 - What are you talking about, Bill? - Baby, I'm a systems analyst. 01:48.838 --> 01:51.549 I'm just thinking about-- You know what? Forget I said anything. 01:51.632 --> 01:52.967 Okay. 01:53.050 --> 01:54.635 We have to fix this, Mom! 01:54.718 --> 01:57.513 My final audition for Juilliard is tonight. 01:57.596 --> 02:00.432 If I don't go, I'll never play violin professionally. 02:00.516 --> 02:03.102 - Oh my God. - Okay, but seriously. 02:03.185 --> 02:06.480 How would this work if we were really trying to figure it out? 02:06.564 --> 02:09.108 If you are her and you are her, 02:09.191 --> 02:12.069 then hypothetically, 02:12.153 --> 02:15.990 who would I choose if I had to? 02:16.073 --> 02:18.784 If it was like a life-or-death scenario? 02:19.368 --> 02:23.998 'Cause I'm trying to figure out who it would make more sense to... 02:24.081 --> 02:24.957 You know? 02:26.625 --> 02:28.502 - To have sex with? - What?! 02:28.586 --> 02:31.463 Hey, jeez, don't say that in front of Kelly... or Nancy. 02:31.547 --> 02:34.717 You see what I--? This is so confusing. Just forget I said anything. 02:34.800 --> 02:37.845 - Keep doing what you were doing. - Okay, we'll try. Back to what matters. 02:37.928 --> 02:39.263 But, but, but... 02:39.346 --> 02:42.099 - I don't think I should have sex with you. - Jesus. 02:42.183 --> 02:44.852 Because while you are my wife's body, 02:44.935 --> 02:48.314 my daughter is inside, and no, thank you. 02:48.397 --> 02:50.691 - Ew, ew, ew! - What the hell, Bill? 02:50.774 --> 02:51.609 What? 02:51.692 --> 02:55.946 I thought we were all trying to figure out the rules of this magical event. Am I...? 02:56.030 --> 02:58.157 All right, let's just move on. My bad. 02:58.240 --> 03:01.785 Okay, honey, honey, honey, will you at least try to teach me? 03:02.661 --> 03:05.623 Teach you how to play Tchaikovsky in a day? Are you crazy? 03:05.706 --> 03:08.083 I'm not trying to fuck my daughter. For the record. 03:09.001 --> 03:11.754 What? Is that not a good thing? 03:11.837 --> 03:14.506 That I want to not fuck my daughter? 03:14.590 --> 03:15.716 That's great, Bill. 03:15.799 --> 03:18.719 Great, wish granted. Are you ready to move on? 03:18.802 --> 03:22.056 Yes. You can see why it's confusing, right? 03:22.139 --> 03:25.851 But honestly, we'll just-- We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. 03:26.518 --> 03:29.438 Why would we ever get to that bridge, Dad? 03:29.521 --> 03:31.982 We won't. We absolutely won't. 03:32.066 --> 03:34.944 Assuming everything goes back to the way it was. 03:35.027 --> 03:36.487 But when will that be? 03:36.570 --> 03:39.198 It could be days, it could be months, it could be years. 03:39.281 --> 03:42.952 - It's been three minutes, Dad! - I'm trying to stay ahead of it. 03:43.035 --> 03:46.080 Okay, will you just stop talking about fucking us?! 03:46.163 --> 03:48.374 Honey, she's not new to sex. 03:48.457 --> 03:51.502 She's been seeing that Jeff Hinkle kid for a while now, 03:51.585 --> 03:53.462 and I found a used condom in the trash. 03:53.545 --> 03:55.756 - Oh my God, Dad! Don't go through my shit! - Wait... 03:55.839 --> 03:57.299 Okay, I'm sorry. 03:57.383 --> 04:00.844 - God. Okay... - Wait, what about my presentation? I... 04:00.928 --> 04:03.472 I mean, I love you, but there is zero chance 04:03.555 --> 04:06.058 you're gonna be able to explain to the national grocery chain 04:06.141 --> 04:09.061 the financial upside of putting Smucker's jelly on their end caps. 04:09.144 --> 04:11.772 - What? - I'm gonna get fired. 04:11.855 --> 04:14.400 - Blowjobs are off the table. - What the fuck?! 04:14.483 --> 04:16.986 Off the table. Don't you agree? 04:17.069 --> 04:19.947 I can't look down and see my wiener in my daughter's mouth. 04:20.030 --> 04:22.866 - Oh, make it stop! Oh my God! - I'm trying. 04:22.950 --> 04:24.451 Jeez Louise! 04:24.535 --> 04:28.247 I'm trying to tell you, no blowjobs. I'm not doing it. 04:28.330 --> 04:30.958 At least not now. 04:31.041 --> 04:33.585 Maybe after some time, 04:33.669 --> 04:36.213 we'll all feel differently, and we can reconvene then. 04:36.297 --> 04:38.215 God! Can you just get the fuck out of here, Dad? 04:38.299 --> 04:40.175 Okay, I can take a hint. 04:40.259 --> 04:42.469 I'm gonna go upstairs, see if the cat's fed. 04:42.553 --> 04:44.471 You ladies, do your thing. 04:45.389 --> 04:47.433 Okay. Wait! 04:47.516 --> 04:49.351 - I know what we can do! - You do? 04:49.435 --> 04:52.396 I'm gonna go to the presentation. But I'll just put my hair down like this, 04:52.479 --> 04:55.899 and I'll hide an AirPod in my ear, and you just tell me what to say. 04:55.983 --> 04:58.068 That... that's actually great. 04:58.152 --> 04:59.486 - Yeah. - Yes! Oh! 04:59.570 --> 05:02.573 Wow. When did my daughter become so brilliant? 05:03.157 --> 05:04.908 Maybe you just had to look a little harder. 05:05.576 --> 05:08.287 Threesome in the dark! I figured it out. 05:08.370 --> 05:10.748 I do my best thinking on the stairs. 05:10.831 --> 05:13.125 Think about it. Threesome in the dark, right? 05:13.208 --> 05:17.004 I won't know whose mouth or hands are touching what or doing what. 05:17.087 --> 05:19.381 You stay quiet. It's perfect. 05:19.465 --> 05:21.008 Threesome in the dark. 05:23.552 --> 05:26.513 Hm? All right, we'll talk about it later. Just process it. 05:28.724 --> 05:31.268 - Mom. Seriously? - Mm. Mm-hmm. 05:31.352 --> 05:35.147 I cannot believe how you put up with that fucking disgusting pig. 05:35.230 --> 05:39.360 How do you even get through each day, let alone prepare for a presentation? 05:39.443 --> 05:44.448 Me? I mean, I can't believe you've turned out relatively normal 05:44.531 --> 05:46.492 with that lunatic as your father. 05:46.575 --> 05:50.704 I mean, any other girl would be in a ditch with 20 needles sticking out of her arms. 05:51.413 --> 05:54.083 Guess I never really understood how hard it was to be you. 05:55.000 --> 05:56.835 I think that makes two of us. 05:59.922 --> 06:01.840 What... what... what...? 06:05.135 --> 06:05.969 I'm me! 06:06.053 --> 06:07.221 Mom, Mom, I'm me! 06:07.304 --> 06:10.808 - Oh, we're back, thank God. - I can still do my audition. 06:10.891 --> 06:13.060 And I can get ready for my presentation! 06:13.685 --> 06:15.479 - I love you. - I love you. 06:15.562 --> 06:17.439 - Good luck! Thank you. - Good luck, Mama! 06:21.860 --> 06:23.195 What's happening? 06:24.446 --> 06:27.408 Why am I in this old man's body? 06:28.450 --> 06:29.451 Hey, bae. 06:29.535 --> 06:32.329 It's me, your boyfriend. Jeff Hinkle. 06:33.122 --> 06:34.123 Ew! 06:43.424 --> 06:45.968 Good morning, everybody! 06:46.051 --> 06:49.304 The Lord has blessed us with another beautiful day 06:49.388 --> 06:53.684 for y'all to give thanks to me, Master Murphy, 06:53.767 --> 06:57.020 for giving you the opportunity to actually do some work 06:57.104 --> 06:59.440 and do something productive with your life 06:59.523 --> 07:03.235 instead of acting like every day is a vacation, 07:03.318 --> 07:07.656 so you can rid yourself of the devil's grip on your loins 07:07.739 --> 07:12.578 and actually do some digging and hauling and work for me. 07:12.661 --> 07:15.747 In Jesus' name, amen. 07:15.831 --> 07:17.207 That's a good prayer. 07:18.208 --> 07:19.835 Get your ass back to work now. 07:21.003 --> 07:24.131 You know what? I might need to get me my money back. 07:24.214 --> 07:27.634 Ain't nothing worse than a slave who can't churn butter. 07:28.385 --> 07:31.263 Me and my family have been eating dry toast for a month. 07:31.346 --> 07:33.265 That's nothin'. 07:33.348 --> 07:35.225 My house been chilly for weeks 07:35.309 --> 07:39.646 'cause none of my negroes can chop wood to save their goddamn lives. 07:39.730 --> 07:43.275 - Mm. - Yeah, well, that ain't shit. 07:44.443 --> 07:46.028 No matter what I do, 07:46.111 --> 07:48.155 no matter what I try, 07:48.238 --> 07:51.950 mine just keep rearranging my furniture. 07:53.118 --> 07:56.413 Started with a chair, then my chifforobe. 07:56.497 --> 07:57.956 That was there. 07:58.040 --> 08:00.667 Next, it's the whole goddamn parlor. 08:00.751 --> 08:01.585 Hm. 08:01.668 --> 08:04.630 Saying the color palette clashes with the drapes. 08:04.713 --> 08:06.590 How fucking dare he? 08:09.551 --> 08:11.261 Yeah, uh... 08:11.887 --> 08:14.890 Oh. I almost forgot. 08:14.973 --> 08:17.434 Well, the other morning, I walked into my kitchen. 08:17.518 --> 08:19.353 One of my little jibbity bugs 08:19.436 --> 08:23.774 had the audacity to be singing one of his little songs in my house. 08:23.857 --> 08:27.569 - One of his spirituals, "Amazing..." - "Amazing Grace." 08:27.653 --> 08:30.072 - That's the one. - Amazing bullshit! 08:30.155 --> 08:32.824 Mm-hmm. That and the daddy song. 08:35.702 --> 08:37.162 The daddy song? 08:38.080 --> 08:39.665 The daddy song. 08:40.582 --> 08:42.167 Mm, no. 08:42.251 --> 08:44.378 You know, the goddamn daddy song? 08:45.254 --> 08:49.883 Where they take you out there by the water with the picnic, and they spin around, 08:49.967 --> 08:52.094 and they start doing the, you know... 08:53.136 --> 08:57.099 You are my daddy, I love my daddy 08:57.182 --> 09:01.228 It's all for you 'Cause you're my daddy 09:01.311 --> 09:05.732 I love all you, 'cause you're my daddy 09:05.816 --> 09:10.821 It's all for you 'Cause you're my baby 09:11.780 --> 09:15.534 You are my baby, I love my daddy 09:15.617 --> 09:18.537 I mean, goddamn. How much do you love your daddy 09:18.620 --> 09:20.789 to make a whole goddamn song about him like that? 09:20.872 --> 09:23.125 I guess it's kinda nice, but all day long? 09:23.208 --> 09:25.127 I don't have time for this shit. 09:25.752 --> 09:27.296 I mean, I enjoy his company, 09:27.379 --> 09:29.798 but it's too much of a commitment, you know? 09:32.217 --> 09:35.762 - Okay. - Yeah, um... 09:35.846 --> 09:38.974 Oh! Y'all not gonna believe this. 09:39.057 --> 09:43.437 One of them coal crawlers had the gall to talk back to me. 09:44.021 --> 09:47.733 Boy, I cracked that whip so hard, they heard it all the way down in Biloxi. 09:47.816 --> 09:50.152 Ooh, I know all about that. 09:51.236 --> 09:54.990 I whipped one of mine so hard, the boy started moaning. 09:57.659 --> 09:59.578 Oh yeah. 10:00.579 --> 10:01.913 Moaning? 10:01.997 --> 10:03.457 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 10:03.540 --> 10:05.709 Moaning like how? 10:06.335 --> 10:07.502 Sort of like... 10:13.050 --> 10:16.553 "Oh yeah." 10:16.637 --> 10:21.475 "Oh, I'm close, daddy. Can you give me one more?" 10:21.558 --> 10:23.268 "Ooh." 10:23.352 --> 10:27.064 "Yeah, I like that." 10:27.147 --> 10:30.901 "I've been bad for you today." 10:38.659 --> 10:40.410 "Please, please." 10:40.994 --> 10:44.456 "One more. One more so I can release..." 10:46.458 --> 10:47.584 You know? 10:47.668 --> 10:49.086 Like that. 10:50.671 --> 10:54.716 I whipped him so hard, the boy's nut hit the floor. 10:55.467 --> 10:58.011 His seed hit the floor. 10:58.929 --> 11:01.932 - He came on the floor. - No, no, no, we heard you, Murphy. 11:02.015 --> 11:05.686 All your boys be doin' this? 11:06.478 --> 11:08.647 No, just one of 'em. 11:10.524 --> 11:14.111 Hey, uh, you ever think that maybe... 11:15.404 --> 11:16.571 Nah, never mind. 11:17.823 --> 11:18.740 What? 11:19.700 --> 11:20.951 Murphy, uh, 11:21.493 --> 11:25.580 I think your boy might be... a little sweet. 11:26.540 --> 11:27.541 Sweet? 11:28.709 --> 11:29.668 Like, how? 11:31.586 --> 11:33.296 I ain't no doctor, 11:33.380 --> 11:39.720 but I have heard that sometimes men can prefer the company of other men. 11:41.763 --> 11:43.348 I prefer the company of other men. 11:43.432 --> 11:44.975 No one hates women as much as me. 11:45.058 --> 11:48.061 No. No, I don't think that's what he means, Murphy. 11:48.145 --> 11:53.650 I'm saying, I think your boy may favor menfolk for his fornications. 11:53.734 --> 11:55.444 You got yourself a fella-fucker. 11:56.820 --> 11:59.906 Murphy, think long and hard. 12:00.657 --> 12:03.410 Have you noticed anything else funny? 12:05.537 --> 12:07.706 No, I don't think so. 12:07.789 --> 12:09.916 Mm! So warm. 12:10.000 --> 12:12.043 Your hands are so soft for a man. 12:12.961 --> 12:14.755 Scrub my hole now. 12:14.838 --> 12:17.841 - Any funny business with your daughter? - My daughter? 12:17.924 --> 12:22.053 And if she ever show her face, you best know I'm gonna say something. 12:22.137 --> 12:24.931 Ooh, girl, stop! You crazy. 12:26.516 --> 12:28.977 - Just a little bit. - She look like a pretty horse. 12:29.060 --> 12:29.936 Hi, Daddy! 12:30.020 --> 12:32.439 No, but she kind of fat anyway. 12:32.522 --> 12:37.569 I don't think negroes enjoy the company of heavyset white women, right? 12:37.652 --> 12:40.363 My goodness. This is lovely. 12:40.447 --> 12:41.281 You made this? 12:41.364 --> 12:44.034 - I made it for you. - I feel like prancing. 12:44.117 --> 12:45.494 I'm not sure on the marble. 12:45.577 --> 12:48.747 It's between the Calacatta and the Danby for me. 12:49.331 --> 12:52.042 I prefer the Danby. It's local, from Vermont. 12:52.125 --> 12:53.293 I love that. 12:53.376 --> 12:55.837 What the hell is an open floor plan? 12:55.921 --> 12:58.715 - I know you sure as hell don't know. - What?! 12:59.299 --> 13:01.510 - Relax. - Okay. 13:01.593 --> 13:04.971 You, for one, do not tell me when to relax. 13:05.055 --> 13:07.140 I relax when I want to relax. 13:08.391 --> 13:09.351 I'm going to relax. 13:09.434 --> 13:12.395 I mean, I think it's pretty cut and dry, Murphy. 13:12.479 --> 13:16.691 The boy ejaculated when you whipped him. 13:16.775 --> 13:19.569 I think Murphy's got himself a boyfriend! 13:21.071 --> 13:24.241 - No, I-- No, I don't. - His moon donkey's a sugarfoot! 13:24.324 --> 13:26.701 That's not true. 13:26.785 --> 13:29.579 Y'all are sitting around reading poetry to each other by candlelight. 13:30.539 --> 13:32.582 - I like poetry. - I bet you do! 13:32.666 --> 13:36.753 Y'all reading the same books, then talking about what's in the books? 13:37.921 --> 13:40.382 He's in a domestic partnership! 13:40.966 --> 13:45.303 Murphy, you are a dumb motherfucker! 13:45.387 --> 13:46.513 Here are your papers. 13:46.596 --> 13:50.517 Now take your shit and get your fella-fuckin' ass up north. 13:50.600 --> 13:53.353 - I don't want no part of this business. - Baby. 13:53.436 --> 13:57.858 I don't want to be free if it means I can't be with you no more. 13:57.941 --> 13:59.317 - Please, baby-- - No. 13:59.401 --> 14:00.652 No! Gross! 14:01.403 --> 14:04.739 Everybody made fun of me, and they laughed. 14:04.823 --> 14:07.868 And they called me "the darkie diddler." I thought we were friends. 14:07.951 --> 14:10.453 Jerry and Thomas, they think I'm sweet. 14:10.537 --> 14:14.499 I ain't sweet. I hate everybody. And you was the only friend I ever had. 14:14.583 --> 14:18.003 And now I hate you too. You think I like that? I don't. 14:18.086 --> 14:19.629 And I ain't no diddler. 14:19.713 --> 14:23.550 So take your ass, and go up north where they diddle all day. Go! Shoo! 14:24.259 --> 14:26.136 Get out of here! Get! 14:26.720 --> 14:29.639 Go diddle up north, you hear? Yankees love that shit. 14:32.225 --> 14:33.184 Go! 14:33.268 --> 14:36.605 A man and another man? To use that hole... 14:43.612 --> 14:45.447 What a dumb motherfucker. 14:46.615 --> 14:49.367 I can't believe that shit worked. 14:49.451 --> 14:52.245 Virgil a goddamn genius. 14:52.829 --> 14:54.289 - Come on, baby. - Okay. 14:54.372 --> 14:56.374 I'mma take your big ass up north with me. 14:56.458 --> 14:59.669 Anything you say, chocolate daddy. 15:03.840 --> 15:06.301 Hey, Master Murphy. 15:06.384 --> 15:08.178 Oh really? You think this is funny, huh? 15:08.261 --> 15:09.971 How about you bend over, 15:10.055 --> 15:14.976 and you stick your pole into his dirt hole and let's see what happens. 15:16.811 --> 15:18.980 That's what I fuckin' thought. Get your ass back to work. 15:19.856 --> 15:22.233 - Come on. What is that? - Hey, man. You ain't commit, bro. 15:22.317 --> 15:23.777 We said we were gonna kiss. 15:31.201 --> 15:33.328 It's always the same shit, you know? 15:33.411 --> 15:37.666 Like, it's people who are just deciding that they're upset for whatever reason. 15:37.749 --> 15:38.667 I have no idea. 15:38.750 --> 15:41.711 And I don't think I've done anything to elicit that response. 15:41.795 --> 15:44.756 I'm just the one who happens to be caught in the moment 15:44.839 --> 15:47.592 when somebody is there trying to explode 15:47.676 --> 15:50.512 or vent their own frustrations about their own lives on me. 15:50.595 --> 15:52.138 I think it's bullshit, you know? 15:52.222 --> 15:53.723 Okay. I hear you. 15:54.766 --> 15:58.269 Can you pinpoint a recent moment where you lost control? 15:58.353 --> 16:00.438 I didn't lose control. 16:00.522 --> 16:01.773 I was provoked. 16:01.856 --> 16:04.526 You said this incident has been sitting with you. 16:04.609 --> 16:06.903 'Cause it's the same thing every day. 16:06.987 --> 16:10.448 Different face. Same entitled rich guy. 16:11.574 --> 16:13.535 Why don't you take me through what happened? 16:14.869 --> 16:15.996 Gladly. 16:16.079 --> 16:16.997 Sure. 16:21.418 --> 16:22.335 Hi, how's it going? 16:22.419 --> 16:24.212 Hello, you poor old bitch. 16:24.295 --> 16:27.590 No, that bag is not going on my plane. 16:27.674 --> 16:28.842 Oh, I'm sorry, sir, 16:28.925 --> 16:31.386 and I apologize in advance for the inconvenience, 16:31.469 --> 16:33.638 but we are gonna have to check your carry-on. 16:33.722 --> 16:34.597 ...motherfucker... 16:34.681 --> 16:37.809 She zeroed in on me like she'd been waiting all day for this motherfucker. 16:37.892 --> 16:40.562 He didn't hear a word I said after "no." 16:40.645 --> 16:42.230 I'm sorry. I don't understand. 16:42.313 --> 16:44.983 I've carried this luggage onto planes dozens of times. 16:45.066 --> 16:46.901 This is preposterous! 16:46.985 --> 16:49.863 How dare you be so ignorant and rude! 16:49.946 --> 16:54.701 Get your fat fucking bald white ass out of my fucking face, 16:54.784 --> 16:56.202 you fucking fat bitch boy! 16:56.286 --> 16:59.789 Again, I'm so sorry, sir, but due to weight and balance limits, 16:59.873 --> 17:03.293 we need to check your bag so the plane can take off safely. 17:03.376 --> 17:05.587 Is your Chinese ass really going to do this right now? 17:05.670 --> 17:07.297 Ma'am, I don't understand. 17:07.380 --> 17:10.091 Is your Chinese ass really gonna do this right now? 17:10.175 --> 17:13.219 I'm sorry, sir, it's... it's really not up to me. 17:13.303 --> 17:14.679 Also, I'm Korean. 17:14.763 --> 17:18.850 I'm Korean, motherfucker! Korean! You ever hear of it? 17:18.933 --> 17:22.729 Now, unless you got a smaller bag inside that big-ass bag, 17:22.812 --> 17:24.731 I don't know what the fuck we are talking about! 17:24.814 --> 17:27.567 Do you? You have a smaller bag in that giant-ass bag? 17:27.650 --> 17:28.777 Let's check it out! 17:28.860 --> 17:30.570 Move over, bitch tits. Let's check it out. 17:30.653 --> 17:36.284 Let's check out if there is actually a smaller bag inside this big-ass bag! 17:36.367 --> 17:38.787 I don't think there's gonna be-- Oh no...! 17:38.870 --> 17:41.831 My name is Tom Segura. I'm at the airport. 17:41.915 --> 17:43.666 No, I do see this! 17:43.750 --> 17:47.587 And this vicious woman is violating my personal space. 17:47.670 --> 17:50.423 Smell like asshole to me! 17:50.507 --> 17:52.092 I'm gonna put this on Twitter. 17:52.175 --> 17:57.055 And if you take one more step, you will lose your job! 17:57.138 --> 17:59.265 Sir, please. 17:59.349 --> 18:01.935 It's for the safety of the other passengers. 18:02.018 --> 18:03.394 - Thief! - Okay, you know what? 18:03.478 --> 18:05.647 - You see a smaller bag in here? - Rape! 18:05.730 --> 18:08.108 - No, ma'am. - You see one? Do you, bitch boy? 18:08.191 --> 18:09.192 I don't. 18:09.275 --> 18:11.861 - I didn't think so, bitch-tit boy! - I feel violated! 18:11.945 --> 18:13.822 Fuck you, you little evil shit. 18:15.198 --> 18:18.034 I see. So, if you... 18:18.118 --> 18:20.245 - Oh, no. He wasn't done. - Oh, no. She wasn't done. 18:20.328 --> 18:21.663 Kept crowing at me like a bird. 18:21.746 --> 18:22.831 This piece of shit... 18:22.914 --> 18:25.041 Like a shitty bird with a shitty voice, you know? 18:25.125 --> 18:26.126 ...was just getting started. 18:26.209 --> 18:27.043 The ones you shoot. 18:27.127 --> 18:29.045 Oh. Mm... 18:29.129 --> 18:32.715 Ma'am, I need you to speak English. 18:32.799 --> 18:34.884 Because if I'm being transparent right now, 18:34.968 --> 18:38.847 nothing you are saying is making any sense to me. 18:42.350 --> 18:43.601 Of course, sir. 18:43.685 --> 18:45.186 I can slow it down. 18:45.270 --> 18:48.231 Stop crying, you bitch boy! 18:48.314 --> 18:51.067 - Is that in your dialect? - Is that slow enough for you? 18:51.151 --> 18:53.987 - I'm guessing it's a South Pacific one. - Oh! Oh, you crying?! 18:54.070 --> 18:55.530 - That's nice. - Oh, you crying! 18:55.613 --> 18:59.325 Oh, this is so sad for you! Oh, everybody check it out! 18:59.409 --> 19:02.120 She doesn't know I'm rich. 19:02.203 --> 19:04.998 Oh, you crying, bitch boy? 19:05.081 --> 19:06.457 Oh, I need my mommy! 19:06.541 --> 19:08.126 - I need to suck on my mommy... - Nice touch. 19:08.209 --> 19:10.503 I'm in boat shoes, you Philistine. 19:10.587 --> 19:11.754 I'm not crying. 19:11.838 --> 19:15.592 This is the funniest thing to happen to me since my second abortion! 19:15.675 --> 19:17.719 And how did that make you feel? 19:18.595 --> 19:19.470 Bad. 19:19.554 --> 19:21.556 And what did you want in that moment? 19:22.390 --> 19:24.809 To not be treated like a problem for... 19:24.893 --> 19:26.811 - Following the rules. - Doing my job. 19:26.895 --> 19:29.022 Okay, I get that. 19:29.105 --> 19:31.024 So, after talking this all out, 19:31.107 --> 19:33.526 how do you think the other person may have felt? 19:41.534 --> 19:43.828 You think you're better than me?! 19:43.912 --> 19:46.664 I'm the white devil! 19:47.665 --> 19:51.044 Remember during COVID when everyone was shitting all over Asian people? 19:51.127 --> 19:54.505 Blaming it on you guys? That wasn't me. I didn't do that. I went to a march. 19:54.589 --> 19:57.258 And I... And I posted. I posted a yellow square. 19:57.342 --> 19:59.093 I know, sir. 19:59.177 --> 20:00.803 Thank you for flying Delta. 20:00.887 --> 20:03.556 Okay. That's our time. 20:04.140 --> 20:06.434 So, how are you feeling right now as we end? 20:07.894 --> 20:08.895 Whatever. 20:09.771 --> 20:12.482 - Fine. - I wish these sessions were longer. 20:13.650 --> 20:15.860 Can't believe this shit's $400 an hour. 20:18.529 --> 20:21.282 What a fucking baby. 20:21.366 --> 20:22.951 What a little bitch. 20:24.202 --> 20:25.036 Next! 20:26.621 --> 20:27.580 - Hi. - Hi. 20:27.664 --> 20:30.124 I was wondering, are they serving a meal on this flight? 20:30.208 --> 20:32.126 Yes, for first-class passengers. 20:32.210 --> 20:33.962 - Great, thanks. - Yeah. 20:34.045 --> 20:36.172 Oh, um, I'm sorry, sir. 20:36.256 --> 20:38.675 We're gonna need to check your bag. 20:38.758 --> 20:40.718 - Really? - Yeah. 20:41.636 --> 20:44.013 Are you sure? I always travel with this. 20:44.097 --> 20:46.891 - Leave it there. I'll take care of it. - Okay. 20:46.975 --> 20:48.226 Thanks. 20:48.309 --> 20:49.269 Thanks. 20:54.023 --> 20:56.985 This is for you 20:57.068 --> 20:59.988 I love my daddy 21:00.071 --> 21:05.994 It's all for you 'Cause you're my daddy 21:06.077 --> 21:09.330 This is for you 21:09.414 --> 21:12.417 I love my daddy 21:12.500 --> 21:18.715 It's all for you 'Cause you're my daddy 21:30.810 --> 21:33.938 This is for you 21:34.022 --> 21:37.442 'Cause you're my daddy 21:40.153 --> 21:40.987 Do you like it?